Alehouse Brawls
POSTED AT THE MANOR GATE To all householders of Middle Woe,
Following repeated complaints from the residents of Goose Alley, the Office of the Reeve has determined that all tavern brawls shall henceforth be conducted out of doors and in complete silence.
Participants are reminded that:
Expressions of outrage shall be conveyed by gesture alone. Tankards may be thrown only if first accompanied by an appropriately restrained mime. Dramatic pointing remains not only permissible, but actively encouraged.
Failure to remain silent whilst brawling shall constitute a separate breach of the peace.
For the avoidance of doubt, shouting "I'm being quiet!" shall not be regarded as silence.
Public demonstrations of the approved method shall take place each Thursday outside The Drunken Goose.
Attendance is voluntary.
Participation appears unavoidable.
Thomas Clodwell Reeve of Middle Woe