All Hallows Eve
Good Morrow Parishioners,
It is hereby decreed by Middle Woe Parish Council that the All Hallows Eve fire, to be lit at dusk on the thirty-first day of October, shall be maintained at a height and width as specified by the council for the duration of the evening.
The flames shall be measured using a rope, details of which will be provided on the night by the Parish Clerk. The Council acknowledges that the rope will in all probability end up in the fire.
Failure to maintain the fire at the instructed height and width for the full duration of All Hallows Eve will result in the entire village being required to clear the midden heap on Sheepdip Lane by six o'clock in the morning on the first day of November, except for Toby Maltspigot who will no doubt be conspicuous by his absence (again).
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
