Beating of the Bounds in Middle Woe
POSTED AT THE MANOR GATE To all householders of Middle Woe,
The Office of the Reeve has concluded its review of this year's Beating of the Bounds.
Following certain regrettable misunderstandings, next year's boundary markers shall no longer include sleeping villagers, visiting monks, or any other person capable of subsequently walking away.
Brother Eammon has not been seen since being blessed, measured, and entered into the parish boundary as "one large stone of satisfactory dimensions."
Three neighbouring villages have since disputed ownership of both Brother Eammon and the field in which he was last observed.
The matter shall be resolved once his present whereabouts become known.
This may take some time.
Evidence suggests that a considerable quantity of ale was consumed during the perambulation, resulting in no fewer than four entirely different accounts of where the parish boundary presently lies.
Until the matter is settled, parishioners are requested not to relocate any stones, monks, livestock, or sleeping relatives for the purposes of improving the boundary.
Failure to comply may result in further notices.
Thomas Clodwell Reeve of Middle Woe