Carrot Disputes
By Order,
Carrot disputes must henceforth be settled by Conkers–Stone–Shears.
The conkers must be of sound character and free from decorative varnish. The stones, sourced from the village green, must carry no personal grudge. The shears must be sharp, though all efforts to test this have ended poorly.
Despite the new measures, Mr Pottle's beard remains notably uneven following his recent carrot disagreement with Mrs Dorcas Wattle.
Nicholas Marsh Manorial Clerk By authority vested in me by persons considerably more important than yourselves.