Great Turnip Growing Contest of 1307
Good morrow Parishioners,
The annual Great Turnip Growing Contest has concluded.
The winning turnip, roughly the size of the parish pig’s head, has once again gone to the Parish Clerk’s cousin.
Any suggestion that rival entries were “mislaid” in the cellar of the Drunken Goose is entirely without merit. Toby Maltspigot knows nothing about the ‘missing’ turnips, do you Toby?
Complaints may be written on turnip skins and left in the midden. The Parish Council accepts no responsibility for what happens to them after that.
Respectfully yours,
Middle Woe Parish Council
