The Parish Bell
To the faithful of Middle Woe,
It is with some regret that I must report the parish bell has once again gone missing.
Until such time as it is recovered, the customary ringing of the Angelus shall be replaced by the regular honking of a suitably enthusiastic goose at intervals of approximately one minute.
I readily acknowledge that this arrangement is not ideal.
Nevertheless, it has thus far proved considerably more reliable than Brother Geoffrey.
Should any parishioner happen upon a church bell of familiar appearance, they are kindly requested to return it to All Hallows Church at the earliest opportunity.
Please do not ring it on the way.
You remain in my prayers.
Father Peter Puddlewick Priest of All Hallows Church, Middle Woe