Tug-of-War
To all householders of Middle Woe,
The Office of the Reeve regrets to announce that this year's Annual Tug-of-War at The Drunken Goose shall not take place.
This decision follows last year's regrettable contest, during which the alehouse sustained significant structural damage.
The missing wall has yet to be recovered.
Parishioners are reminded that any building materials recently acquired from village properties which appear to belong to The Drunken Goose should be returned without delay.
This instruction applies particularly to timbers, stones, doors, and any sections of wall still bearing a noticeable smell of ale.
The Office would also remind householders that buildings are not intended to participate in tug-of-war.
Thomas Clodwell Reeve of Middle Woe